Countering Rachel's Counter and That Feel, Bro

Hello again, some-funny-insulting-sounding-list-of-things-that-make-you-human!

I am countering Rachel's counter!

Yo, Dawg, we heard you like counters.

I feel that the reasons why I am old are completely valid and the reasons Rachel is old are based completely on ridiculous things.

Also, those drink glasses had wobbly legs.

Reason 1 on how Rachel was old was how she has backpain. Yeah? Well I have severe ankle pain and every morning when I wake up the whole right side of my body is numb. Therefor, if pain and aches were an indication of age, I am older than you!

Reason 2 on how Rachel was old was how she drinks a lot of hot tea. Well, bitch, I have a tea pot just for heating up water for tea! I have a whole Tupperware container, those huge ass ones, filled with at least twenty different types of tea!

The ultimate tea slut is Lady Grey. What. A. Whore.

Reason 3 on how Rachel was old was how she rationalized topics. Sweetheart, hate the break it to you, but I've been doing that for years. Ain't called getting old, s'called getting mature.

We are all sad for you on that one.

QED.

"Have you ever been so happy to be holding an animal that your heart grows ten times its size that day and for some reason you can't contain it and your brain tells you the only way to truly show your affection is by crushing its body with your hug? This goes for people, too."