Countering Kelsey's Counter...Bitch

Hey cunt! I am talking to you Kelsey. You want to fight bro?

I'm the honey badger; you're the snake.

Yes ma'am, your reasons are completely valid. I will not argue that point. We all know that you are often times physically challenged...and by that, I mean mentally (<3 you though).

Like you, only smarter.

Maybe I should elaborate on my old people illnesses? Yes? I have scoliosis which is only exacerbated by every additional year added to my age.

Your knee/ankle/car wreck pain have nothing on this. My spinal cord is straight up fucked.

GERD calls itself my soulmate. Try waking up every morning with acid in your throat and a hurricane in your stomach.

My colon grows tumors. OLD PEOPLE TUMORS. In fact, I was the only minor that my G.I. had ever seen get such tumors. The type I get are reserved for people over 40.

I have digestion problems and have to take fiber. You know who takes fiber?

The fiber helps me poop (this is something Nikki would post on Facebook).

I have a bad IT (Iliotibial) band, often times causing intense ankle and knee pain.

I have Orthostatic Intolerance which means I get dizzy when I stand. Kind of like this:

This, only in my brain.

I have mystery attacks of gastrointestinal pain which have no known cause.

All-in-all, I am so much older than you. I have more old people disoders than you. I'm dying. I win.



Point two: Having tea does not make you old, drinking it does, and I'm sure I beat you regarding this issue.

Also, Earl Grey will kick Lady Grey's ass any day of the week.

Earl Grey in this corner, defeating your ass by pretending...oh wait...

Earl Grey: has a Master's in Chemical Engineering, is a third degree black belt, speaks 3 languages, and has an IQ of 160.

Lady Grey: pedophile.





Point Three: Sure, you've been rationalizing forever. Is that next to the sob stories of teenage life?

Also, another point for my oldness. I'm older than you, therefore, I am older.

Like that logic?

Finally, this:

For some reason I am imagining her talking like Lil' Jon or maybe Uncle Ruckus.

"You know that feeling when you're trying to give a presentation in Biology and you are trying to say organism but say orgasm instead?"

I was talking about Botulism!

Also, I love you a lot Kelsey! Continue to duel me forever...with real guns.