New Vintage

Well my sweet darlings, since Kelsey insists on me making the announcement....

I proudly announce my son, Liam Alexander, was born on July 17th at 5:42 P.M. He weighed a hefty 9 pounds, 7 ounces and was 21 inches long.

I finally had my follow-up appointment today and was given this tidbit of information: apparently Liam is the heaviest baby their practice has ever delivered.

Sweet.

In other news, I'm practically bursting with excitement regarding the new Hunger Games movie. This may or may not have to do with my insane love over Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson. EVERLARK motherfuckers. 

Awww yissss!

In other, other news, Kelsey's blathering over the BBC version of Sherlock Holmes has finally roused my interest. Fucking damn her. However, I honestly know nothing of the show other than these 3 facts:

1) The show may or may not have to do with legit Sherlock Holmes shit.

2) Martin Freeman is an adorable little fuck and I want him to live in my pocket. Hobbits are that small, right? (wrong movie?)

3) Benedict Cumberbatch (seriously, worst name to have as a child) has a voice that I'm pretty sure is composed of equal parts sex and dirty sex. (And no Kelsey, he is still not as awesome as Alan Rickman, though he may try.)

Kelsey, I may be tempted to view this show. But. Not. Supernatural. Never. 

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So...jumping along topics like a pro...

Why are car manufacturers intent on making cars have faces? Are they trying to kill me? Because I think they are. Do you know how hard it is to crane your neck on I-81 because you just saw a 2013 Nissan Blah Blah Blah drive by with a grumpy face? Do you!?

Pareidolia is a weird thing my friends. Weird indeed.

That monstrosity is a Chrysler Gem Peapod. It is so fucking happy. So absolutely mind-blowing, just-jizzed-in-my-pants, fucking happy. 

I'M SO HAPPY I COULD 'SPLODE!!!!

Or a Mazda MazdaSpeed3...

I'M SO HAPPY. WHY AM I SO HAPPY?!!!!

Look at this sexy piece of ass. The Mazda Kiyora (I fucking want, btw).

This car seems to say:

HA, HA, YOU'RE FUNNY! NO BUT REALLY, I'LL FUCKING CUT YOU!

Ford Police Interceptors

WHOOP-WHOOP MOTHERFUCKERS, I SEE YOU FUCKING BREAKING THAT SPEED LIMIT. TASTE THE FURY OF MY FUCKING TICKET PROWESS. BAP, $400.00 NOW. FUCK YOU.

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And while we're on the subject of cars...

OMFG, I want. I WANT.

This sexy beast is the Mitsuoka Orochi. Why the fuck don't I have this? Why? Oh why!!!

Oh yes, I remember now. Because I'm poor.

Let's be more realistic then. These are 5 cars that I sincerely want (that probably won't break me):

1) Nissan Juke (yes, laugh away)

2) Chevrolet Volt

3) Dodge Charger

4) Mitsubishi Lancer

5) Ford Fusion

And because I can...5 cars that I sincerely want but can't afford:

1) Cadillac CTS-V Coupe

2) Audi R8 V10 Spyder

3) Astin Martin Vanquish

4) Cadillac Elmirage

5) Tesla Roadster

And then a few concepts...still out of my price range:

1) Lamborghini Egoista

2) Lamborghini Ferruchio 

3) Alfa Romeo Pandion

4) Bugatti Aerolithe

But you know what vehicle sucks major balls?

THESE ONES

Much love Kelley. Much love.