Thursday, September 26, 2013

Autocorrect and Spazzy Phones

My dear, dear Bucketsphere dwellers. What is it about autocorrect that makes life so fun?

Answer: everything.

So, Tyler's (aka Cherokee Thunder/Dances-with-Wolves) phone was being a dick yesterday. Spazzing and autocorrecting all his shit. Anyway, I give you a conversation between him and one of our sales reps, a rather attractive female rep:

Tyler types 'I'm at the loading dock' and hits send. His phone, in a blazing defiant moment of asshole sends 'I'm at the loading dick'. Tyler, immediately realizing his mistake types 'I'm so sorry' and hits send. His phone, not yet through with being a douche-rocket sends 'I'm so dirty'. Tyler frowns inside and decides that waiting might be the best option. It is.
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THE END
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Kelsey, I got a Tumblr like a while ago. Shut it. And why should I follow you? I don't know you.

I blew your mind. It's ancient history, like the pyramids baby.
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The whole world does not have a crush on Benedict Cumberbatch (from now on I will refer to him as Benecum - it's easier). For instance, Tyler does not. That is at least one person.
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Aw, you love me more than Benecum. That's coolio. 
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I have heard that they are remaking Sound of Music with Carrie Underwood. This. Fucking. Shatters. My. Soul.

What the fuck. What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? WHAT the fuck? What THE fuck? What the FUCK? WHAT THE EFFIN' MOTHERFUCK?

Why the flying monkey tits would you cast a country singer as Maria? What the shit?

Carrie Underwood, while nice in her own way, is no fucking Julie Andrews. She should have turned that audition down. How disrespectful to the roll. I mean, really. What's next? Carrie Underwood as Mary Poppins? Chim-chimeny-motherfucker.

LOVE

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I'll trash the stuff you buy Liam. I'll be evil.
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No one reads this Kelsey. No one.
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I wouldn't laugh. I'm sometimes good inside. I want to be Kelsey's friend-book-reader-person.
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Gladiators are umpftastic.

Matthew Gray Gubler is the bomb.

....As is Josh Hutherson.


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