Forensics tournaments are where the parties at

Howdy, questers! Kelsey here with an exciting update!

im getting lazy. i just google image searched exciting update. wow.

I just got back late last night from a Forensics (Speech and Debate) Tournament in Ocean City, Maryland. It was pretty wonderful. I placed First in Informative, a team mate placed second in inform, another team mate placed first in after dinner speaking, yet another placed fifth in persuasive and we got plenty of team awards. Two team members placed first overall for the whole year in their events (informative and ads), one got runner-up and best novice for informative, and three of our team members received overall awards as thank-yous and goodbyes as they are graduating. A pretty good haul.

But, the exciting thing is the hotel room!

I guess this was it. Idk.

Anyways, so we had five rooms and would frequently slip in between them. There were a lot of us. We would practice because we are boring.


HAHAHA JUST KIDDING WE DIDNT PRACTICE AT ALL. No, instead John and I caused problems for everyone around us.

Our rooms had full kitchens with a dishwasher, so I made breakfast and lunch for a bunch of people and kept the dishes clean. I didn't have a skillet, so I used a flatter pot to fry things. The big burner was broken, so I also had to use a small one and only use the middle of the skillet.

this is what I made. this is all I can make.

Anyways, so. One broken burner and no skillets. Thats not bad, right? Except, I happened to go next door (we kept the doors between our room and the boy's room open next door) and looked in their cabinets...AND OH LOOK. THREE SKILLETS. AFTER I ALREADY FINISHED BREAKFAST.

me

So, whatever. I stole the skillets. Everything went well. Thats all that was wrong with the room!

haha just kidding. again.

No. The night before we had one of the boys over (John) to help us turn our fireplace on. Yes, our room had a fireplace. Okay. He followed how his roommates had done theirs and turned it on. And by turned it on I mean RIPPED IT OUT OF THE MOTHERFUCKING WALL.

We all just stood there. We didn't know what to do. He quickly shoved it back in like the man he is and then helped Natalie set up her pull out bed. Which means, of course, we watched as he did it all by himself. Hes a good guy. I raised him well.

So, thats all, right? Nope. Nooooope. Our screen door had been ripped off the hinges. No big deal. Except it was like halfway on the track and we couldn't move it without breaking it more so sliding outside was hard. Once you were out there...you just should have probably stayed out there.

kinda looked like this? We had a gorgeous beach view.

One of the other girl's rooms door actually locked them out. We found that out when one girl was in the shower and suddenly heard screaming from the faint distance...she got out and her roommate was banging on the door, half dressed, a cup of coffee in one hand and terror in her eyes. I cracked up because well...it was funny.

That balcony was the source of our greatest terror, one night, as well...

We ladies three (Sara, Natalie, and myself) we relaxing the first night. We had first bracket events the next day but not until 3 in the afternoon. That meant relaxing that night and that morning at the beach. We had already been hottubbing and swimming and were all warm and cozy in our beds. Natalie with her computer, Sara with her phone, I with a book.

Then suddenly, from down below (seven stories) we heard it...the mad screaming of a drunk man! Oh no, I thought, I hope the young scalliwag is not with our group! What dishonor he brings us! As we ladies three each stared at the slighly ajar balcony door, suddenly a LARGE WHITE CREATURE attacked our fair balcony!

INSTANT CHAOS!

Natalie jumped with her laptop in tow about three feet in the air. "What was that?!" she scream, absolutely terrorized. Sara, visibly shaken, slid out of her bed, panty-clad.

"I don't know," she responded, inching closer to the bathroom and further from the balcony.

"Well, my beautiful and fantastic ladies, allow me, your brave night, to inspect said creature and report back to you for your peace of mind," I valiantly cried, taking my warm and relaxed self out to the balcony. There, only a small distance from the door, sat our creature of white horror.

Picking it up gingerly, I brought the creature inside. "We shall raise it as our own," I said to the women, and they nodded in agreement. They settled themselves back down, discussing the terror that they felt. I, their brave knight, had saved them. I placed the creature with its many brethren in the bathroom, folded on the floor for the maid to retrieve, and set out on my quest to find the cruel wizard that had cursed this foul creature with its balcony solitude.

Who could have abandoned such a loving creature?

Marching my armor-clad self next door, I kicked in the already ajar doorway to the men's room. Grabbing one of them by the scruff of their pajama neck, I grunted in a low voice, "Alright, scumbag, who did it? Who dared to attack my kingdom?".

Visibly shaken, the boy pointed to the troublemaker, giggling himself blue in the corner. There, sat the mischievous mountain troll, unshaven and evil, enjoying his dastardly deed. "You!" I screamed, anger welling deep within my veins, "You will right the wrongs you have performed! You will apologize to the fair princesses, and you will banish thyself to a faraway place and never return or so help me I will vanquish thee!"

So, yeah. John was so fucking tall that he literally reached across balcony walls and threw a towel at our door. What a dick.

Theres actually like thirty more things wrong with my room and one hundred more stories I'd like to tell, but I'm not going to. Some girls tried to get us disqualified (from Shepherd. Fuck you, ladies. I showed you, huh? FIRST PLACE YOU PIECES OF SHIT) and John gave me a sea shell that I shall keep forever. All-in-all it was an amazing trip and I loved every minute of it.

Thanks for listening!