All things interesting and goodly (that's a word, right?)

Hello! How be thee questers? 

Oh Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?

I have marvelous news for you all! My fellow quester (and better half), Kelsey has been accepted (for a mere traveler's fee) to the college of her choosing. We are all very proud (mainly me because we are, like, buddies and stuff)!

Isn't this the only way in life?

In other news little WP, or for those of you who can't remember, Womb Parasite, has spent the last few weeks using his/her fucking body-built arms and legs to kick my bladder. This may seem fun to some, like a roller coaster or some thrill shit like that. Let me assure you that it's kind of the opposite (more like a cat pooping on your face while you weep in distress because you just found out you have terminal cancer of the testicles. Also, you're a virgin and can't have sex because the cancer has ruined your penis for ever...that is...the few weeks until you die in utter pain, alone, by yourself. Oh, and your cat...pooping on your face). 

Some may cry foul that I, as a future mother, am bemoaning the beauty that is my child moving. Let your fears be put to rest. The movement is amazing and quite startling when you first feel it. However, what is not amazing is how WP loves to tap dance on my bladder...all day...all week...all ever. It's never a nice feeling to get done peeing, leave the bathroom, and have a sudden urge to go again (for just a split second). I know WP is grinning like a dick in there, just waiting for my next potty break to really put the pressure on my bladder.

For reference I will give you how many times I have peed in a day:

*2:17 A.M. (a rather abrupt wake up)

*6:00 A.M. (when Tyler got up for work)

*7:15 A.M. (when I got up for work)

*8:30 A.M. (when I got to work)

*9:15 A.M. (after finishing sorting through my e-mails)

*9:55 A.M. (probably something work related)

*11:00 A.M. (my morning drink saying hello)

*12:05 P.M. (a quick stop before heading to lunch)

*12:20 P.M. (a quick stop during lunch)

*2:23 P.M. (a quick stop before taking the mail)

*2:50 P.M. (a quick stop after taking the mail)

*3:19 P.M. (UPS guy stops by)

*4:35 P.M. (finishing up major work)

*5:40 P.M. (a quick stop before the drive home)

That was all I recorded for a day, but I can assure you that I probably went 5 or 6 additional times before bed. That is fucking 14 recorded pee stops in a single day. Fucking 14 (I think, I didn't feel like recounting).

Making me pee all the time will not win me over.

In other, other news...I have finally found the dog I want:

So fucking adorable. No seriously, I want. want. want.

I had an epiphany today during lunch. I was driving and saw this:

Like a Bumblebee or some shit.

Yes, just an ordinary yellow Camaro. I'm not a super big fan of sports cars so I never understood why these cars stood out to me.

Now I do. How could I not realize that all yellow Camaro's must be owned by Lego Men...

Thought I wouldn't catch 'ya. Didn't you, you sick freak?

Lego Men must have mind control powers. How else could we have gone this long without noticing? How have I never seen this? It must be a sign...a sign that all Lego Men are evil douche-bags who can't drive worth a shit.

See, I have all the proof. 

I'm going to go all Perez Hilton, blah, blah, blah for a minute here. There has been a lot in the news recently regarding Taylor Swift and her butt-hurtness over being teased. Am I the only one who thinks Miss-I-Date-And-Dump-Boys-To-Write-Songs-About-Them-And-Use-Them-As-My-Only-Claim-To-Fame needs to grow up a little? Like really...

What was it that Tina Fey and Amy Poehler said about Taylor Swift? Oh yeah, they cracked a joke saying Taylor needed to stay away from Michael J. Fox's son (Mr. Golden Globe) and sometime about 'oh wait, Taylor needs that 'me' time'. An innocent joke, right? I mean, Tina and Amy are known for being joke queens. They are witty and quick to throw barbs, but they weren't being harmful. After all, what else should a serial dater expect? 

I would think that this is where Taylor shows that she wears big girl panties and can make a big girl decision regarding teasing. Does she? Nope. She says that Tina and Amy have a special place reserved in Hell for them...say what?

In another event, Chelsea Handler (classy and crass lady she is) made a joke that Taylor is only hurt because she is misunderstood. She's a pure-hearted virgin who is being taken advantage of by the guys she dates. They want her to be theirs (in more ways than one) and she says no, thus the breakups. 

I believe there was also something like, "Taylor Swift will be a virgin for ever, ever, ever, ever". 

I certainly can't wait to hear the mini tantrum that Taylor Swift throws after that. God, I just love Hollywood.

*GASP* All the questers lament. Rachel hates Taylor Swift. 

No, no I don't. I think she needs to get a rougher hide if she wants to stay in the spotlight, but I don't hate her at all. In fact, she has been known to do incredible things. Check out Rockstar Ronan's blog to see what she did for Maya and her beautiful son, Ronan, who lost his battle to Neuroblastoma. She wrote an incredibly moving (and incredibly heartbreaking) song about his short, short life (about 4 years).

On a final note regarding Taylor Swift. Does anyone else think she looks like Gadget from Rescue Rangers?

The same person....right?

Okay, but seriously, check out Rockstar Ronan. The blog is long if you start from the beginning, but it is a beautiful story. Maya, Ronan's mother, illustrates her need to fight, her need to win, and her utter devastation over her child's death. She is working hard to make pediatric cancer as mainstream as other cancers. She is working hard for a cure so other people never have to go through what she did. 

This is Ronan, the sweet cutie who died way before his time. Maya's extra spicy little monkey.

I don't always agree with Maya or her words. In fact, sometimes she pisses me off on her viewpoints, but the main point is that she's a wonderful mother. She is the mother I or anyone else should look up to. She is the mother others should strive to be. 

Because these are nice, but not what matters in the grand scheme of things. 

In fact, if she even read this blog post she would be pissed at me for complaining about little WP kicking. She is one women who has lived through Hell/whatever the atheist equivalent is and learned something...that she can't control everything and that she will never take anything for granted. She will never complain about stupid crap like pregnancy woes (she's pregnant right now with a little Poppy!) or drama. 

I on the other hand, always complain about everything so Maya would probably smack me in the face and tell me that I'm lucky to be having a healthy little WP without the worry of death (because I've never lost a child to anything, especially cancer). 

Because no matter how happy he looked. It was never acceptable for him to be sitting in a hospital bed being treated for dumb-fuck cancer. 

Serious moment over. I've made myself sad. But seriously, fuck cancer.

Anyway, back to my horrible ways in my happy world. 

Tyler and I bought baby stuff last weekend. The first baby stuff ever. We got an infant car seat (in black because WP is a genital mystery...ew, that sounds not right). It looks safe, didn't break the bank, and has a footsie cover.

We also got a playpen! It was on sale and adorable! 

This! Eddie Bauer!

"But that's a boy playpen", you all shout. Well, for some reason I found it suitable for both sexes. So there!

We also bought a diaper bag! Tyler did not like the bag of my choosing. He doesn't want to carry it if I'm not around. Too bad for him. It's black with green and white lining. It's very fancy.

And those three things plus a seat cover for Tyler's precious car cost $300.00. So three things down, a bazillion and ten to go. 

Yay!

These are a few, these are a few of my registry things.

If anyone would have told me when I was 16 that I was going to have a baby at 22 years of age I would have laughed. Well, guess who is laughing now? That's right! The Pastafarians! 

Lol. This is amazing!

According to their website, Pastafarianism is sincerely legit and the followers are true believers. What? This is the potential greatest mock of religion and people truly believe that the Flying Spaghetti Monster created the world...

I'm not judging. I mean, look at those balls!

Okay, signing off now questers...before my brain turns to mush.

Love and mega-lasers to you all. Yes, even you corner loving stoop kid.