Driving like a sir

Kelsey speaking, here, meat-creatures!

Two things for today's post.

The first? I am drinking grape juice from a large funnel cup like a sir.

The second? I am super excited for summer. No, summer is not a beautiful woman that I've fallen in love with. Summer is, of course, the season!

Not only did I buy plants I'm excited to plant (remind me to tell about my tea obsession). But, I am excited for warm evenings spent driving around with Rachel.

Ever since Rachel has started driving, we have been aimlessly cruising around town. Typically we actually have a purpose, originally, and then end up driving around to nowhere. We've had some adventures in her car, certainly. A trip to a small town in Maryland that freaked us both out. Almost dying in backwoods West Virginia. We've had fun and its the reason why I look forward to the summer.

To be frank, I think being in her car is the reason we became so close. We would head out to the mall or to Wal-Mart and on our way home she would take a random road and we would just talk. Some nights for hours. Every problem we were having, everything we've probably ever thought, on my part at least, was revealed at one point or another. I'm sure Rachel is more secretive than me, but still. She tells me things I don't think she tells other people. NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY, RACHEL.

So, when we aren't throwing up our hearts and rainbows, what do we do? Typically we cause problems to pedestrians. Thats right. We roll down our windows (and, for the record, I consider her passenger seat my side of her car) and we SCREAM things at people.

Last summer we spent a whole night yelling "BONER" in varying degrees of voice infliction.

Just imagine, you're walking down the street and from your side you hear "BONER. BOOOOOONER. BONER? Boner!" How would you feel? Hopefully you'd feel elated. Maybe a little bit weird in your private parts. Its okay. We give that effect to people.

Most nights Rachel yells random inappropriate things, but I take a classier approach. I try holding conversations. I will ask people, while speeding by at 30 mph, how they are. Where are they going? I hope they get there safely.

I'm there for you, pedestrians. I love you. Will....will you marry me, pedestrians?

Rachel hates when I yell things when we have to stop at red lights. One afternoon, we pulled up next to another car turning left while we were going straight. She had HUGE shiny earrings on. So, being the polite motherfucker I am, I said "I like your earrings!". Startled, this woman looks over, sees the light change, and as shes turning utters a shy "Th...thank you!" and smiles.

That was a good day.

I love yelling things. Rachel's boyfriend doesn't seem to understand, but its a lot of fun. I'm shy, normally, and Rachel is the outgoing one. But, when it comes to screaming things out of the window while speeding by the shadier neighborhoods, I am much more willing than she is.

If I get shot though, I'm haunting her ass. Just cause.

So, Earthlings, we here at Muon's Quest to Penetrate the Bucketsphere give you some penetration of our own.

We are penetrating your MIND with this awesome IM backlog. Warning: Severe Language.

Kelsey (1:27:45 PM):    http://www.thehushradar.com/product.php?productid=21&cat=1&page=1
Kelsey (1:27:50 PM):    THEY ARE SOCKS WITH MOTHERFUCKING CAPES
Kelsey (1:27:54 PM):    ARE YOU UNDERSTANDING THIS SHIT
Kelsey (1:27:56 PM):    MOTHER
Kelsey (1:27:59 PM):    FUCKING
Kelsey (1:28:04 PM):    CAPE-ED SOCKS
Kelsey (1:28:09 PM):    FOR YOUR MOTHERFUCKING FEER
Kelsey (1:28:12 PM):    FEET
Kelsey (1:28:15 PM):    fuck
Kelsey (1:28:19 PM):    SO YOU CAN FUCKING FLY
Kelsey (1:28:28 PM):    MOTHERFUCKING FLY, DO YOU HEAR ME?
Kelsey (1:28:50 PM):    LIKE IF YOU WERE LIKE "FUCK THIS SHIT, IM OUTTA HERE" YOU WOULD STRAP ON THESE COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKING SOCKS WITH GODDAMN CAPES ON THEM
Kelsey (1:28:51 PM):    AND FLY
Kelsey (1:28:52 PM):    THE FUCK
Kelsey (1:28:53 PM):    AWAY
Kelsey (1:29:21 PM):    IF YOUR FEET WERE FUCKING COLD
Kelsey (1:29:35 PM):    YOU'D PUT THESE FUCKING BADBOYS ON, LOOK LIKE A DUMBASS, BUT BE WARM AS FUCK
Kelsey (1:29:38 PM):    BECAUSE THEY SOCKS WOULD GO
Kelsey (1:29:48 PM):    HAVE NO FUCKING FEAR, YOU PANSY FUCKING ASS, BATMAN IS HERE
Kelsey (1:29:51 PM):    WITH HIS FUCKING CAPE
Kelsey (1:29:52 PM):    WITH HIS FUCKING CAPE MAKE
Kelsey (1:29:59 PM):    TO MAKE
Kelsey (1:30:05 PM):    TO MAKE SHIT BETTER
Kelsey (1:30:15 PM):    TO MAKE SHIT BETTER
Rachel (3:19:53 PM):    Excuse me? Have you recently started a regimen on new drugs?
Rachel (3:20:05 PM):    *of
Kelsey (7:16:03 PM):    Yes
Kelsey (7:16:09 PM):    Also, whoa
Kelsey (7:16:11 PM):    You're on aim
Kelsey (7:16:16 PM):    Did you stay late at work?
Rachel (7:19:10 PM):    i have never washed my fat hairy ass
Kelsey (7:19:19 PM):    Well this I know
Rachel (7:19:29 PM):    That was my dad.
Kelsey (7:19:35 PM):    Hello, sir!
Rachel (7:19:47 PM):    What is up?
Kelsey (7:19:55 PM):    I just told you
Rachel (7:20:26 PM):    I'm bakin cookies