Friday, April 18, 2014

Things...Like People Watching and Pet Peeves

Hello My Beautiful People (excluding Kelsey),

This is Rachel! (obvi.)


Today, and probably for the only time in like another 4 months, I will blog something. SOMETHING.

SOMETHING!

So...topic, topic, topic...

PEOPLE WATCHING!


People watching is a fine art. A fine art indeed. You can learn so much just by being a creepy, stalker, watcher man-woman. 

I would specifically like to address the way people park and how it relates to their personality.

There are several types of parkers. I'll state my parking habits first:

*People who take the closest spot available to them at the moment

I am a person who when parking, chooses the closest open parking spot. This is important to me. I want to park immediately, literally in the closest spot the parking lot has to offer (that is not already occupied). What I can infer from this is that I don't like fucking walking, but also don't like to fucking wait on a space or drive around like a fucking soccer mom.

*People who take the absolute closest spot

These people will refuse any space that is not the one closest to where they are going. They will wait on cars to back out, drive around until the spot opens, or fucking park in the handicapped zone. From these people I get the feeling of fucking laziness. Because who the fuck can't walk from the end of the parking lot? Unless you are handicapped, but in that case you have your own spot?!

*People who take up handicap spaces

These are the assholes of the parking lot. Anyone who parks in a handicap parking space when not HANDICAPPED needs to be kicked hard in the face. There are real people who need that space and if you take it then you're denying them the access they need. Have you ever seen a wheelchair ramped van? They need that extra room to safely lower the ramp. Using 2 spaces way down in the parking lot is not safe because it is not designated as a handicap zone. Any idiot could zoom in there and cause an accident. 

Now, onto Parent Parking. There is a new fad of parent parking spaces taking up residence in parking lots. And to be clear, I'm cool with it. If you've ever seen a parent try to tote several young children across a parking lot, you'll know it's difficult at times. But here's my issue, there is a war between the handicap and parent spaces. Handicapped people are using parents spaces and parents are using handicapped spaces. This is a problem in my book. Let me elaborate here, I feel it is completely okay for a handicap person to park in a parent/mother zone, especially if they do not have any handicap spaces available to them (as parent spaces are close to the building), but it is certainly not okay for parents to park in a handicap zone. Parent parkers should never, under any circumstances, park in a handicap zone. As I have been pregnant and have had a child, I can fucking tell you that you aren't fucking handicapped. You are fucking pregnant and can fucking walk across a parking lot (I'd know considering I was literally at my due date when I took a 1.5 mile walk to try and start labor). Do not try and play the card of "But I'm due and my ankles are swollen and I have to pee and it's hot and I should have the right to park wherever I want because I am totally handicapped". Ugh. It does not work. You are not injured, physically disabled, or mentally disabled. You are pregnant or have children. Something you chose to do. Something that has been done forever. It is not a handicap. Final note: people who park in handicap spaces when not handicap are fucking assholes.

*People who park under trees...no matter what

Tree-parkers are the rare breed that will always park in the shade to insure that their vehicle does not get hot. However, it seems that it doesn't matter to them if it's summer or winter. They will park under that damn tree, thank you very much. And for some reason, these people usually drive truck or jeeps. What does it mean?

*People who block lanes

Another bane of my existence are people who see someone loading their groceries and just stop, turn on their signal, and wait. Like WTF? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?! THIS IS AN UP LANE! I'M STUCK WAITING ON YOUR ASS! JUST FUCKING MOVE! For you see, these people have it in their head that if they were to do something as crazy as move over a little, they're offering up their parking spot to the person waiting behind them. NO, NO WE'RE NOT. JUST FUCKING LET ME BY. I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH WALKING. I'M GOING TO TAKE THAT SPOT 3 SPACES DOWN. JUST LET ME.

*People who park super far away

We've all seen these people. The group who park the absolute farthest away. What I gleam from this? You are either exercising or have a nice car. There is no in-between. No one willingly parks that far without a reason. 

*People who park in fire zones or on the sidewalk

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ASSHOLES DOING? Does this look like your lawn? No.

AAAAAND THAT'S ALL I HAVE FOR NOW!



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