Trolling Fanfiction

It is of my obviously humble opinion that some of the most hilarious, but not necessarily good, stories can be found on Fanfiction.net. 

For example:

We have the Sherlock (BBC version) story, titled dickweenie:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7862736/1/dickweenie

I'm sure you can deduce (har-dee-har-har) from the title that this story is probably not to be taken seriously. Some memorable quotes include such gems as:

"John's man-carrot had never been more rigid."

And

"Sherlock leaned in close to John's luscious ear whispered seductively "Jawn. Jawn. I'm inside of you," Sherlock paused most dramatically "With my dick-weenie."

If you peruse the author's (Jim for IT) page - full of 2 stories total - you'll come to notice another story. This one is aptly titled cockwilly. Be still my ever-beating heart.

Gems from this include:

"John began to suspect that Mycroft Holmes, might indeed, like waffles. John was exceedingly proud of his new found super-duper amazingly fantastic deductioning skills, so proud in fact, that he immediately pirouetted into a double-back-hand-spring, sticking the landing with a mighty "KER-CHUNK". (Let it be noted that John's feet didn't make that noise on the desk when he landed. His mouth did.) On Mycroft's desk."

And

"Jawn, I have smelt your manly, musty musk from across the globe. And by globe I mean England. And by England I mean London. And by London I mean Baker Street. And by Baker Street I mean my dick." Sherlock paused, sucking in huge gasping breaths of air before rumbling shrilly "Get inside my butt.". John placed his hands sassily on his hops, "Qwat" he replied, hip lips pursed to the point of not existing. And that's an ass-ton of pursing."

I fully believe that Jim from IT is a comedic genius. Seriously. Meat-wand, schlong-dong, doinker, gentleman sausage, and gallantly streaming anal impaler are all words used to describe penises in these stories.

I am in love with these type of stories!

Example #2: Tempation by Septimus Butters (another comedic genius) - in my opinion.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7942515/1/Temptation

"Peeta bum-rapped with horror. "Wait, Hay!" He squawked, backtracking like a Tonka truck. "I'm saving myself for...um...someone special." Peeta knew exactly who he was saving himself for, but didn't want to admit his attraction for the beastly crone Katniss. Haymith guffawed like a cream on steroid."

Or this masterpiece:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8464736/1/Macbeth-s-Soliloquy

"You like Skrillex? he asked Banquo."

"It's alright. I prefer James Blunt." Banquo said, not wanting to admit he secretly listened to Miley Cyrus."

"I love it when the synthesisers kick in!" Macbeth screeched, grooving in his saddle while the bass pumped loudly." 

Seriously. I am fucking dying right now.