To continue on, probably much to the annoyance of the people who hated my last post, I bring you point #2:
People who use backed-up traffic to their advantage.
There is nothing like the dread and fuck-me-I'm-going-to-be-late-for-work feelings a person experiences when they see the brake lights and stopped traffic up ahead on a major highway or interstate.
Ugh.
And truly, some of the biggest assholes come out to play during these days.
I had the pleasure of getting stopped in traffic the other day. I was already pushing the envelope on my time to work (I'm good at that) and seconds after I hopped onto I-81, hoping to fly a cool 75 mph (the limit is 70 and 80 is reckless in VA) all the way to work, the Heavens decided to rend and spill gallons of Jesus' tears all over the place.
It was whiteout conditions.
This - only worse.
People were pulling off the interstate or at least I think so. I wasn't exactly seeing shit. I couldn't even see the semi in front of me who was seriously right fucking there like seconds ago. I drastically dropped my speed so I wouldn't hydroplane or cause a horrible wreck.
When the rain finally cleared and I could un-clench my hands from the steering wheel (seriously blind driving is not fun) I cruised maybe half a mile before - BAM - brake lights.
And thus I got stopped 2 exits away from my own (and let it be known that these 3 exits are all close together).
As I pulled off the road so the emergency vehicles could blow by me I sighed. Of course I'd get stuck in a traffic jam for a recent wreck.
Now this is where the assholes come in. Halfway between the exit I got stopped at and the next exit up road workers placed a sign clearly stating that all traffic needed to merge right because the left lane was completely blocked. For most people this should be a no-brainer - slow down where you are and turn on your blinker to merge over in a zipper fashion. Easy!
However, I got to witness Mr. and Mrs. Asshole Car and their dozen Asshole Car children. These are the people who ignore the sign and tear up the left lane like the devils chasing them, only to stop at the very last moment and jump over into the correct lane.
This leaves people like me at the same interval, people who were 'next in line' already. But these specials dicks know they can jump a huge chunk of traffic if they act like stuck-up douche canoes and go for it.
Then you have the I CAN DO EXIT THINGS drivers who make the bumper strip their personal Autobahns. They speed up the bumper strip in hopes that they can squeeze off onto the nearest exit - and if not - merge right back into the fray.
I'm not sure why these people piss me off so much. I mean, I'm going to be late anyway so it really shouldn't matter but damn it. I want to slash their tires with a machete every time.
WAIT YOUR TURN BITCHES!
3) People who do not heed emergency vehicles.
Are you fucking blind? Fucking pull off the road. Someone could be fucking dying and you're just impeding their help.
4) People who say 'try it, you'll probably like it'.
Bitches be wrong. With any new food comes analysis that isn't only taste. Food is a visual, tactile, and olfactory experience. If I think something looks like shit, feels like shit, or smells like shit I'm bound to not like it when I put it in my mouth - even if it is good. Our brain is funny shit like that.
No comments:
Post a Comment