Irksome

There is something that positively grates on my nerves and it really shouldn't. This thing would be automated telemarketers. 

They drive me insane and probably not for the reason you think. For most people the idea of a telemarketer makes them want to scream 'JESUS CHRIST I DON'T WANT TO BUY ANYTHING STOP CALLING ME!'. That is not my issue with them. No.

I could take calls from real-life telemarketers all day and not bat an eyelash; however, those robotic automated fucks need to fuck off. 

Here's why:

1) You never wait for me to say hello before starting your message. 

Me: Wine Importer Place. This is R-

Recording: This is Susan with an important offer.

Like your offer is more important than my introduction? Fuck you Susan. Fuck you. I was trying to give you my name. 

2) They are always over-the-top loud.

Me: Wine Importer Place. This is R-

Recording: HELLO. YOUR BUSINESS HAS BEEN SELECTED TO PARTICIPATE IN A NEW SURVEY OF TOP BUSINESSES IN AMERICA. PLEASE RESPOND ASAP TO RECEIVE THIS SPECIAL, ONE-TIME OFFER.

Yes, I'll get right on that as soon as my ears stop bleeding.

3) They sometimes begin with an obnoxious noise.

Me: Wine Importer Place. This is R-

Recording: RINGADINGADINGDONGDONGDONGDING HELLO THIS IS JOHNATHAN OF JONATHAN AND ASSOCIATES. DO YOU HAVE BAD CREDIT? NO WORRIES! RINGADINGADINGDONGDONGDONGDING.

4) They can never get your name or company correct.

Me: Wine Importer Place. This is R-

Recording: RINGADINGADINGDONGDONGDONGDING *male voice* HELLO I HAVE A MESSAGE FOR *female voice* WEEN IMPOOTUR PLACIE *male voice* IF YOU ARE NOT *female voice* WEEN IMPOOTUR PLACIE *male voice* PLEASE HANG UP.

5) You cannot tell the recording to stop calling without listening forever and a day.

THAT IS ALL.