A Cheat is a cheat is a cheat

Hola Questers. Hola.

I thought I'd take a moment to blog a more serious post. I mean, who doesn't love those? Right? Right?!

You may find my anger overwhelming, maybe a little intimidating. Don't worry. I'm not usually so frustrated. When I wrote this piece I was a little too hot and a little too bothered (and not in the good way) by several blogs about cheating - mainly a post on BabyCenter where a soon-to-be first time mother was freaking out because she had just found out her husband was cheating on her. Like what? Cheating on your pregnant spouse? Ugh!

So....without further procrastination I give you my rant of the day:

Rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, and rant.

Why is it that men and women cannot tell their significant others things that they are willing to tell their best friends? Isn't your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, or wife supposed to be the closest best friend you'll ever have? Don't people understand that secrets can destroy a relationship quicker than promises can build it? Why are people such idiots?

I've had a few friends who've been cheated on. Hell, the love of my life was cheated on by the vast majority of his exes (I'll seriously kill you bitches - for realz). How can people do this to each other? How can anyone be so selfish? How can you live with yourself after being so cruel to the person you claim to love? I just don't get it. Am I missing something?

I know relationships fail. I mean, half the time I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop on my fairy tale romance...but why are adults such children when it comes to failing relationships? Why can't they just own up and admit it is not working?

Relationships are about love and trust, openness and giving, fairness and equality. How do people just say 'eh, what the fuck' and shatter those bonds so easily? And all for some random dick or vag?

If you're unhappy in your relationship, make a change. Try to solve your problems. Talk to your significant other. Work things out. If all else fails, well at least you tried. A breakup will never be easy on either party, but it's a thousand times better than cheating. 

Do not cheat to satisfy yourself. It is not fair to your other half.

I am the only person who'd rather know upfront that my man no longer wants me? Am I the only one who would die if I found out my love had been cheating on me instead of trying to fix our relationship? Leaving me is infinitely better than playing me. Don't play with my heart, immediately give it back. That is all.

Like really. I need it to pump my blood and stuff.

To those of you who think cheating is OK as long as no one finds out...are you stupid? You will always be found out. It's just a matter of when. How much of an asshole are you willing to be? What do you want your character known as? What story are you going to write for yourself?

Ah sweet poetry (*has absolutely nothing to do with this blog post).

I know someone who found out his girlfriend had been texting other men not-so-innocent texts. When you are in a relationship, texting the opposite sex has rules. Are you talking as friends? Well, that is normal and acceptable. 

Just 'friends'.

In my book, occasional non-serious flirting is okay. However, take note of how your significant other responds to these types of things. Some find it whatever, others breath death-fire when they find out. 

*Note* If the non-serious flirting is more than occasional that may be a problem.

God, I love him like this! 

Texting the opposite sex, specifically super-hotties, things like 'you're sexy' or 'would you like to "hang" out sometime' are not acceptable.  I repeat NOT ACCEPTABLE. No one appreciates their significant other playing whore tag. 

Girls can distinguish between friendly and I-want-to-do-you-in-the-butt. Boys can distinguish between friendly and I-want-your-cock-like-now-in-every-place-on-my-body. We are not that stupid.

This all brings me to another point. Do not text your friends something you wouldn't be willing to say to your significant other (briefly covered in my opening). If by chance you text Best Buddy #1:

"Dude, so and so is so fucking hot. What an amazing body! Hot damn!"

You're obviously hiding the fact that you find this specific girl attractive. Why must you hide this? Once again, men and women aren't stupid in this. We are all attracted to the opposite sex, taken or not. 

Women and men, intelligent ones, should know that their lovers DO find other people hot. Both sides will forever be looking at the opposite sex and their attributes (note* this means boobs and ass when it comes to men). If you can't tell me that Stripper #2 (the fiery redhead with natural tits) is banging, who can you tell? I'm your #1 confidant. I love, you love me, we are both sexual beings, etc.

Look at that fire-crotch!

I know many women would be offended, but I am of the full belief that if you have to hide you're attraction then you're hiding something deeper.

*Note* This does not apply to those poor men and women who have to deal with insanely jealous significant others. You poor, poor dears. In your case, keep the attraction to yourself.

Maybe I'm biased here seeing as I find both sexes gorgeous. My boyfriend often points out women, I do as well. It works fine. Tits. Vag. Ass. Ass. Ass.

Yes, please.

But in all honesty, sit down and talk with your significant other to see what they are comfortable with. If they are comfortable with you blathering about hotties and threesomes (yummy!), then awesome. If they aren't comfortable with anything, work with that. Remember: you are with your lover for a reason. Make it work.

Rachel's Opinion on this matter!

"If you cannot tell me who/what/whatever you are into then you do not deserve to be my boyfriend. You know me. You know that I love me some women as well. Let's talk about doggy style and giving the D. I like."

"If I'm bitching because you look at a girls body, well I don't deserve to be your girlfriend. Jealous asshole I don't want to be."

Please note that Rachel is very open-minded so her advice is not for the majority of people.

All hail, Rachel. Rachel is supreme.

NEXT!

Bros who stick up for their cheating bros because of some bullshit Bro Code are sick fucks. Do not defend cheating. Tell your bros that you won't put up with that shit. Sometimes the Bro Code needs to be put on the back burner.

And now a note!

Dear Immature Men and Women,

Texting a "friend" and hiding it (i.e. keeping your phone all secret and weird) will only make your significant other suspicious. A hug with someone who isn't your GF/BF or family should only last so long - ass grabbing is a punishable offence. Cheating is never the right course. Do you have a problem with your significant other's weight gain? Workout together towards a goal. Is your GF a total uber-bitch? Beat her. Just kidding - work on that or leave her. These are easy things! No one ever needs to cheat. Cheating is an asshole/bitches way.

Sincerely, 

People who aren't retarded.

But Rachel! You all cry. Your boyfriend is faithful to you. Why the rage?

And to this I say: Yes, my man is still with me (hopefully forever). I'm sure he's guilty of something, probably "texting the bros about women he won't tell me about"...maybe if I beat it out of him? No, I have trust in him so that's cool and all. 

My upset comes with the fact that I've seen way too many cheating escapades instead of maturity. I thought adults were supposed to be adults?

Recap (tl;dr):

*Why do men/women hold things from their significant others?
*How can anyone cheat without feeling like the biggest douche ever?
*Why can't people write honorable life stories?
*Make changes/try to fix a broken relationship before leaving. Never cheat.
*Getting dumped is easier than living a life only to find out said life was a life.
*Cheaters are always caught eventually.
*Texting the opposite sex has rules.
*Texting your buddy about your 'obsessions' is not cool, unless you have a crazy ass significant other.
*A man/woman (without a psycho lover) who cannot confide everything in their significant other isn't deserving. Be non-pathetic. A man/woman who can't accept the fact that men/women love the human body (yes, other people) is undeserving. Don't be low and bitchy.
*Bros before hoes is a dumb rule when it comes to cheating. Don't defend douche bros.
*Once again: Cheating is the easy, cowardly, and pathetic way. A cheater always looks like a fucking dick or whore.
*Fuck you to the girls who cheated on my man. He's fucking perfection and you're assholes.

That is all.