The things you see on Facebook

This questionnaire keeps popping up on my Facebook feed:

QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME

I feel as though I'm not being unfair or cruel when I say that any person who sees this post and sincerely goes "yeah! exactly! why?!" is an idiot.

Here's said questionnaire:

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Truly? Does anyone really look at this question and ponder? Assassinations are always political/religious/a-hired-killing. Murder is you going into your back yard and shooting your neighbor. How is this hard?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? 

Considering no one really knows what Heaven is like, and that's even if it exists, shouldn't you just assume that God supplies everything? Including clothing?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Probably because square boxes are easier to make, ship, store, and put together???

What disease did cured ham actually have?  

Because cured is always in reference to diseases.

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours? 

Jesus. Because when they do sleep, they fucking sleep like the fucking dead. They don't react to noise, barking, explosions, etc.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Toasters aren't only used for toast. Fucking tits ya'll.

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

You aren't supposed to overdraw your account!!!! The money that you are using when you overdraw is the bank's. The bank is footing your bill so you don't have to go without. The charge is for the bank taking it's own money and time to save your overdrawing ass.

Why does someone believe you when you say there   

are four billion stars, but check when you say the 

paint is wet?

Humans are tactile! It's not like we can reach out and touch the stars (or spend time counting them) to determine if you're telling the truth. We can however, reach out and touch paint to check if it's dry. Also, we're stupid with things like that. 

Why do they use sterilized needles      

for death by lethal injection?

Because we no longer keep dirty needles???

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Not everyone can grow a beard. My boyfriend is Native American - he cannot grow a beard.

Jesus tits guys. Jesus tits (Kelsey totally never says this).

This is just a few of the questions on this ridiculous list.

This is how stupid this thing is...

Ummm I don't drink that much

Thats my favorite thing that BennyC did. Oh god. I can't handle it.

So, unsurprisingly, I have had almost none of those things. I really want a kamikaze, however.

I have had a Long Island Ice Tea and, let me tell you, I died a bit inside.

Okay.

A lot inside.

WAY TOO MUCH ALCOHOL FOR ME.

I am not a big fan of alcohol. So that cheap champagne would be right up my ally. I like super sweet, super bubbly, super everything but alcoholy.

I just don't like alcohol too much. So, because of this, I tend to forget that I am of legal age when I am by myself. Sometimes, when my brother buys them, I drink this:

Recipe: It comes in a fucking bottle. I'm assuming there are apples involved at one point in the process.

Taste: It tastes like Hard Cider but with like a cinnamon flavor. I do not work with alcohol for a living, leave me alone.

Annnnd I make myself an iced coffee with whipped cream vodka in it. There are no pictures. I make it myself. Although, actually, here, have the vodka pic.

Recipe: Fucking use some like fucking day old coffee shit, put some ice and a fourth-cup sugar in a shaker cup with the coffee and just a bit of half-and-half or whole milk. Shake the bitch like its a Polaroid picture. Punch a man in the face. Try it for taste before then adding AS MUCH VODKA AS YOU WANT. It can be shitty vodka, you're using shitty coffee and off-brand sugar to console your shitty life anyways so who gives a fuck? People say it'll curdle the milk but your soul is curdled anyways so who honestly cares. Besides, you'll drink that shit so fast it won't matter. Shake up the mixture again. Put it in a glass. Or a mug. Or a fucking bowl. I don't fucking care. Overthrow the patriarchy and assert your dominance as an equal gender, whether it be male, female, nonbinary, or other. Fuck the police.

Taste: Like fucking heaven. I don't tend to put too much vodka in because I'm more addicted to coffee than alcohol. Its a shame. A real shame.


So uh yeah there ya go theres my contribution. Also, the New Years post is demented, Rachel. Demented.

The New Year is coming on like a train....

All the good things...plus some not so good things

Halo, bienvenidos, je t'aime, Lassen Sie mich an diesem Schwanz und Fahrt springen...

Yes, I've missed you all so much. So very, very much.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas or Holiday Season or whatever.

As you can obviously tell, the previously decided topic days (That Feel, Bro, etc.) are not really adhered to. 

Therefore, I propose a random posting: What Alcoholic Drink I Had. This will be a post I make anytime I try a new alcoholic drink. I will give a picture of the drink, a quick recipe, and how it rated with me. If Kelsey has also had the drink, I hope she posts her own input (it will obviously contradict my own).

So...here goes!

These are all drinks that I enjoyed yesterday at our company Christmas/New Years affair:

*Long Island Iced Tea*

Basic Recipe:

Equal parts of vodka, gin, tequila, rum, triple sec

1 1/2 parts sour mix 

A splash of cola

*It is important to note that most versions have nothing to do with tea.

Rachel's Review:

I greatly enjoyed it, but very well know that one is quite enough for me. You could definitely taste the alcohol but it wasn't overpowering. Decidedly an easy drinker. The lemon is a great addition but be careful not to add too much. I totally did and the final part of my drink was extremely sour!

*Kamikaze*

Basic Recipe:

Equal parts vodka, triple sec, and lime juice (usually garnished with a lime slice) - ours had sour mix added.

Rachel's Review:

Yummmmm! Not a good thing to serve to me because they are fantastic. You would think that something filled with so much lime would be very sour but it isn't. It's actually fairly sweet and goes down smoothly. It's a shot style drink, but I sipped mine slowly. It is definitely a drink I would have again and again.

*2012 Weingut Richard Böcking, Riesling*

Basic Recipe: 

Riesling grapes

Rachel's Review:

Yuck. I love, love, love white wine but this one? NO. Just the nose was horrid and reminiscent of dirty gym socks. It tasted about the same. I can certainly do without.

Now some goodies enjoyed on Christmas Eve:

*2010 Tamarack, Cabernet Sauvignon*

Basic Recipe:

88% Cabernet Sauvignon, 4% Merlot, 4% Cabernet Franc and 4% Syrah

Rachel's Review:

A very weak red. The nose is super spicy but the taste is bland. There really isn't any heat or bite. Definitely a red wine for beginners.

*NV Chocolate Shop, Sparkling Red Wine*

Basic Recipe:

Disaster

Rachel's Review:

Gag. This stuff is horrible. It tastes like someone rinsed out stale socks and undies in soda, added dye, and sealed it into a champagne-corked bottle. I took one sip and probably died just a  little. But under all of that...pure, total, overwhelming, shitty chocolate.

*NV St. James, Cranberry*

Basic Recipe:

Cranberry Fruit Wine goodness

Rachel's Review:

My Holiday Season weakness. I love this stuff. It looks so festive and yummy! And since it is a fruit wine rather than a grape wine I'm in love. This wine is a total winner. It tastes just like cranberry juice, only a little sweeter. The ABV is not ridiculously high so it's a good one to enjoy. Plus, the alcohol is barely noticeable!

*NV Cave Carod, Clairette de Die*

Basic Recipe:

 75% Muscat Petits Grains and 25% Clairette

Rachel's Review:

This is a rather cheap champagne - so boozies can enjoy! Lots and lots of bubbly goodness and sweet, sweet, sweet. I had to swig this sucker down fast because it was just too much. It's a good quality champagne for the buck but I'm just not a bubbly drinker.

Kelsey, any new booze for you?

Make it so....

Fuck, but I love this.

I am a total Star Trek nerd.

For Kesley

Kelsey,

Here you go!







Don't you love them????!!!

Pictures and stuff

Yes, pictures. This is what happens when I'm bored.