Hola peeps residing on the Bucketsphere (seriously - where the fuck are you guys?)
It's time to bring out some serial issues. I'm totes serial, brahs. (Is this South Park shit too old?)
I would marry Cartman in a heartbeat. I'm not even joking.
The topic for today is lighthearted sexual harassment.
I'm one of those ladies who is fairly tolerant of crude remarks and innuendos from the opposite sex (or even same sex). I don't go crying foul over a sexual comment or misplaced affection. I'm a big girl, I can deal. And this all leads down to:
There is one thing that I absolutely know regarding my workplace. That I, if I so wished, could get most of the men in trouble (or even fired) for sexual harassment.
Here are some examples:
#1) I dropped my car off for a state inspection the other week on my way to work. My work is incredibly chill regarding giving people lifts to and from places, so I had a ride no problem. In the afternoon one of our warehouse employees, we'll call him Little Old Dude (he has total short man syndrome), gave me a ride to pick up my car (my barely passed inspection car - I'm looking at you Billie Jean California). On our way to the company van, Little Old Dude was stopped by another one of our warehouse workers, Scotch Tape (he appears in the next story!). Scotch Tape winked at Little Old Dude, told him to 'take it easy on me', winked some more, and laughed his head off while walking back into the warehouse. Meanwhile, I just stood there with my eyes narrowed at him. Needless to say, the ride was just a tad awks.
#2) This situation happened not long after I began working at my current job. I was walking into the warehouse to pull some samples (a dreaded task that I have since passed on to newer employees) and I traveled by two of our guys, Scotch Tape (say it ain't so) and Crusty. They were whispering to each other, giggling like school girls, and glancing my way. I stared them down, cocking my head, wondering what could possibly be funny about me. Was my hair funny? Always. Something on my face? No.
So being the person I am I stopped and questioned them, "What are you guys talking about?"
And that person would be nosy.
Scotch Tape pulled his baseball cap down a little lower, gave a little smirk, and smacked Crusty on the arm enthusiastically, "I was just telling Crusty about how'd I love to lick a stripe up your panties."
I walked away uncomfortable, laughing it off...And all I could think was that I wasn't wearing any panties.
#3) Remember my earlier blog post about Catholic Man. When I first started working for Wine Place he was infatuated a bit with me. Yes, this was before he realized I was a heathen.
One day while I was stacking some used boxes in the corner of the warehouse he came up to me and started his usual conversation.
This turned around immediately when he stated that I was better than his wife and how we wished he had met me when he was younger. He would have apparently shown me the best time.
How do you respond to that?
#4) If I haven't mentioned it yet, the boyfriend works at Wine Place with me. So we are subjected often to murmurings about our love life. Which is awesome if you must know. Do I participate in blow jobs and anal? Well, of course. Who doesn't?
Anyway, I was super frustrated the other day at one of our sales reps. As if on cue, I was greeted with a, "What's up?"
"Frustrated." I announced, going on my merry way.
"Well, you just need some good loving." Piped in, you got it, Scotch Tape.
"I get good loving." I stated, offended for my man's sake.
"You do not. You need a man's loving." Scotch Tape countered.
"I have a man's loving? Tyler certainly isn't a woman. He has a grown-up penis and uses it grown-uply."
Okay, I really didn't say that.
But I totally did defend my man's honor.
"I could give you good loving." Scotch Tape yapped.
*Sigh*
#5) I'm leaving work late at our old warehouse which was in serious sketch-town at the back of a warehouse complex.
"Hey baby, want a ride?" A smooth voice canters.
I turn. Boss-Man stares down at me from his grand old expensive SUV.
"No thanks."
