Muon's Quest to Penetrate the Bucket Sphere: Are you random?

Hello all (that includes you Satan; also you, Jesus)!

Today is Friday! For this we are grateful. Let us all take a moment to bow down to our God.

And God said, "Let there be sex!"

Not your God you say? That is disgusting of you all ! Heretics! I say, "Shun the Non-Believer! I am without sin, so I will cast the first stone!"

Anyhoodlydoodly (creative licensing, AKA the ability to make shit up), I am cheerfully counting down the hours until the weekend. This week has gone on way too long and it must be vanquished. There can 'nary be a rested soul long as the Friday eats the heart of men.

The monster Friday, maybe you've heard of it?

Today is one of those days where you don't know what to do or what to say. I certainly have no clue what to excite you with (the batteries are dead in the mind-vibrator).

So...my only hope is being as random as the conversation spouting from the mouth of a Tourettes sufferer.

Random Topic #1: 5 More Facts About Myself

1. I am on a M*A*S*H spin right now, and am obsessively watching the show.

Ah, nothing like death and destruction to bring out the awesome in you.

2. I can't cook to save my life. I burn pancakes, overcook spaghetti, and just pretty much fail.

A woman who can't cook? Absurd!

3. I took 6 years of Spanish and am still an incompetent idiot regarding the language.

4. My car is named Billie Jean California. Yes, I know it is a stupid name.

My car is a fucking purr-machine on the scale of 'car to my tires are cats who are afraid of water'.

5. I feel like a bad-ass when 'Fuel' by Metallica comes on while I'm driving (I'm not sure if this is normal).

Random Topic #2: 5 Facts About Kelsey

1. Kelsey is short. So very, very short. The type of short where capris become pants.

I should have known this was you, Kelsey. You murderous midget.

2. Kelsey is one sexy ass mama.

3. Kelsey has blond hair.

Pretty much sums her up.

4. Kelsey is a great listener. We sometimes even agree on things!

5. Kelsey has a car named Dante. Dante is sad, almost as sad as Billie.

He's a fucking devil.

Random Topic #3: Idiots Applying for Jobs

The company I am working for is hiring warehouse personnel and drivers. All of these positions require a copy of a current and good-standing driving record. We stated this in the advertisement and reiterated the significance when each applicant came in. So tell me, why did we have a man apply with a driving record of -6 points? These points coming from such lovely incidents such as a DUI, driving under a suspended license, going 30-35 over the current speed limit, and failure to obey a traffic signal? Tell me why this person applied when he told me clearly that he had a felony record.

And he isn't the only one! I understand that the job market is hard and that people are looking for jobs. But really?