Not so long ago I, Rachel, finally decided to make a Tumblr. This decision may be the best and simultaneously worst decision of my life.
Tumblr has a way of drawing you in, capturing your soul, and making you obsessed. Which is fine and dandy when you have the time; however, I do not. But most of the people are absolutely lovely and would totally be my besties in non-internet world.
On the completely falling-down-hill side of things, some people are fucking terribly annoying. Like literally some of the worst people in the world frequent Tumblr. I have found that it is physically impossible to avoid all of the vomit-inducing nonsense.
Without trying to be an ass, but completely being an ass, here are my Tumblr annoyances that make me want to scream.
#1 - People who are so absolutely obsessed with a ship that they have most certainly lost touch with reality.
How to know if you are one of these people: do you constantly scream that your ship is canon without actual proof that it is canon? Do you point out every single little glance, hug, gesture of kindness, and word between characters in the show/movie/etc. as proof that OMG CANON (Like *squeal* Becky, John just looked at Sherlock while Sherlock was looking at him. SEE! TOTALLY CANON!...because eye-contact is not allowed unless you are DTF) (OMG! Jessica! OMG! Dean just told Castiel that he likes hot-dogs! Hot-dogs! You get it? He's referring to penis! He wants Castiel's penis!!! So canon!...because all food is a reference to sex of some sort. Hot-dogs? Penis. Pie? Vagina. Corn? Hand job.)? Do you bash other ships because LIKE NO WAY JOSE. THEY ARE DISGUSTING TOGETHER. WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
If you do any of the above, kindly fuck off into the hottest volcano. You are truly an annoyance. A fucking smile does not mean canon. A fucking hug does not mean canon. You know what means canon? If the fucking writers have your ship fucking and get together. That's fucking canon.
I follow, and regret everyday and would totally no-fuck-off if they didn't post good things too, two girls - one who ships Sherlolly, the other Johnlock. The Sherlolly one gets so irrationally mad when Johnlock posts are made because MOLLY IS PERFECT FOR SHERLOCK, LOOK AT THEIR CHEMISTRY. When people call her out for her obvious hate (as in, she tags #Johnlock in anti-Johnlock posts) she cries foul and probably fucks herself with her Sherlolly dildo because JOHNLOCK COULD NEVER BE CANON OR EVEN APPRECIATED BY ANYONE. FUCK YOU! SHERLOLLY FTW. The other girl, who is 15 and probably shouldn't be on Tumblr anyway, posted about her dream of Johnlock being canon and then waking up and crying. Yes, she apparently cried because her dream of canon was a dream. Then she proceeded to post for like 3 days how torn-up and depressed and crying she was that the dream wasn't real. GET SOME FUCKING HELP YOU FUCKING TWAT-WAFFLE.
Here's a note: if you are so obsessed with a ship that you get raging anger or depression you need help. Because that shit is not normal and fucking annoying.
Also to be perfectly honest, Sherlolly chemistry? He fucking uses her all the fucking time because he knows she likes him. That's taking advantage. I love a good Sherlolly but come on. And to be fair, I love a good Johnlock, Mystrade, Donlock, Jollock (or whatever it's termed now), Mystrea, and Sherstrade too. It is possible to like multiple ships and not be fucking insane.
#2 - People who have such an attachment to a ship or show/movie/etc. that they are in emotional/physical pain when something goes wrong. Which follows up with #1.
I follow someone - someone I very well may unfollow soon for their sheer fucking ugh - who, after last nights Supernatural season finale flipped her fucking lid because Destiel did not become canon. That's enough to make me want to gouge my eyes out right there, but no, she was so angry that her hash-tags were literally fucking threats to the creators/writers of the show. How fucking pathetic do you have to be to be so obsessed with a fucking ship that it not becoming canon emotionally and "physically" hurts you and angers you to the point of threatening people?
#3 - Ship Wars
Simply put, Ship Wars are when people flip the fuck out over who is the most perfect couple in a series/movie/book/etc.
Just stop it. Yes, I'm talking to you Sherlolly vs. Johnlock peeps and Destiel vs. Wincest peeps. Get a fucking life and respect each other. People are allowed to have ships that don't agree with yours. People are allowed to politely debate why they think their ship is more canon. You do not need to go ape-shit over people for not agreeing with you. You respect. You fucking herpes blisters.
And at the end of it all, if Johnlock, Sherlolly, Destiel, or Wincest becomes canon we can all be calm fuckers and not flip out. The "winning" shippers can not be fucking told-you-so asses, and the "losers" can not be whiny fuckers.
Seriously. Grow up.
#4 - Overzealous feminists
Feminists can be some of the most annoying people on the planet. I don't care how that makes me sound.
First off, if you are a feminist and have misandry tagged, in your name, or in your about I will automatically assume you are shit and take nothing you say seriously. BUT MEN PRACTICE MISOGYNY ALL THE TIME. Yes, because fighting fire with fire is the adult thing to do. I'LL USE MISANDRY UNTIL MISOGYNY IS HISTORY! Yes, be the bigger woman. Post constantly about men being evil and horrid and a plague on the world. That will show everyone how awesome feminists are.
Which brings me to the often used NOT ALL MEN bullshit. I know this is unpopular but I hate it. If you are ranting about how 425 gazillion % of men are currently raping women and a guy shouts HEY NOT ALL MEN DO THAT. Do not be a fucking AIDS-infected cunt and bash that man for pointing out that not all men are in fact rapists. BUT HE SHOULD BE FOCUSING ON MY FEMINIST POST AND NOT HOW HE FEELS. WHY DO MEN HAVE TO MAKE EVERYTHING ABOUT THEMSELVES?!!! Oh go fuck yourself with the rustiest metal dildo in the world. There are plenty of feminist losers (note: I'm only talking about some, not all! *boo-hoo-hoo* Lest the feminists scream HEY NOT ALL FEMINISTS ARE LIKE THAT) out there who do indeed promote the lies that all men are just rapists in waiting. That women should be 1000% afraid of every man, including their fathers, brothers, and friends. There is nothing wrong with a man being offended by a post lumping all men together. After all, part of feminism comes from the fact that people (usually men) were throwing ALL WOMEN around.
URGH. I can be 100% for feminism AND 100% anti-rape, while still getting pissed that you are lumping all of a group together. Isn't that what you're fucking opposed to the in the first place? People lumping you together over stupid shit? Isn't this the base of feminism in the first place? People making blanket statements like ALL WOMEN COOK, ALL WOMEN CLEAN, ALL WOMEN HAVE BABIES AND STAY HOME, ALL WOMEN FUCKING RAGE DURING THEIR PERIOD, ETC, ETC, ETC.
I fucking hate the 'not all men' bullshit. If you want to post HEY, STOP CALLING ALL MEN FUCKING RAPISTS. IT SOUNDS STUPID. You do so. Any feminist who disagrees can fucking fall in a hole and wither away into nothing because they are getting mad that a man would dare take offense to stupid blanket statements, SOMETHING THAT WOMEN THEMSELVES HAVE BEEN MAD ABOUT FOR ALL OF TIME.
Once again, unpopular opinion but I don't care.
#5 - People who hate a group for no reason.
YOU CANNOT CONTROL WHAT SEX YOU ARE, YOU CANNOT CONTROL WHAT GENDER YOU ARE, YOU CANNOT CONTROL WHO YOU LIKE OR ARE SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO, YOU CANNOT CONTROL THESE THINGS.
Why is this hard? No one should be hated for fighting to be accepted. No one should be hated for being trans, or being gay, or being asexual. But on the flip-side no one should be hated for being none of those things.
I saw a post yesterday from a 16 year old who wished to kill a cis-person by cutting off their hands and excitedly watch them bleed to death (speculation on whether this was supposed to be a joke post giving the opposite of trans-phobic violence). That's it. They wanted to kill someone just for identifying with who they were born as. What the fuck? How can a trans-person strive for acceptance and turn around and spout hate.
I am a female. I was born a female. I am cis. I cannot help being cis. If I am going to help made strides in acceptance for trans I expect the same respect that trans people want.
Or the straight people are so pathetic posts. Ugh.
Once again. Same thing. Some people are heterosexual and cannot help it. I am bisexual and I cannot help that. People cannot help who they are in this respect.
DO NOT SPREAD HATE. HATE CANNOT FIGHT HATE. IT JUST CAN'T. STOP BELIEVING IT CAN. DO NOT PUNISH OTHERS BY DOING THE SAME THING THEY DO TO YOU. IT WILL NOT GET YOU ANYWHERE.
And I am now fucking done because people are annoying sometimes and I have unpopular opinions that feminists and shippers will battle me to the death on them. Just fuck Tumblr sometimes. Fuck it.
